Saturday, June 30, 2007

Bald as...

How sad am I.
Invited to go bowling when I popped over to the Tap for a snifter and I cried off. Too tired and I really wanted to watch Dr. Who. Mind you, N0.1 and I had spent much of the day at Barton to walk the mutt and enjoy the peace and quiet. Our birdwatching skills are improving.
"What's that?"
"Some sort of duck...or something ducklike...a coot?"
"Why's that goose hissing?"
"Dunno...let's move!!"
"Don't these geese shit a lot"
But it was quiet apart from the sounds of various birds, the wind and some background noise from the bridge traffic...wonderful. We sat there for a while and soaked up the quiet. Muttley had been run ragged so she gratefully collapsed and ignored the movable feasts on the water. We also enjoyed the best of the weather and finished it off with some welcome fish & chips.
Now to settle down and see what the fuss is about 'Jeckyll@ which I've not yet seen.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Suffering succatash...

I cannot think of a good word to say for virgin media's broadband service. I can think of lots of words to describe them of which Twat is the mildest. It's so bad that BT is starting to look attractive, in broadband terms that is. But I am behind with my course work thanks to their incompetence and irate members of the family are queueing up to abuse them. But I now have some access to the virtual world.
Work is the other reason for my has suddenly become very busy and every recent referral is hypomanic. So I am very tired and I have two hours of study ahead of me....fuelled by tea and then a couple of really tasty beers. I can thoroughly recommend this 'un.
Orf to play at student...where's the barricades remote control....


Monday, June 25, 2007


Describes my last 24 hours perfectly....the title that is, not the picture.
My cup doth overfloweth...Not just a stomach bug, I also have a toothache and the tooth itself is wobbly. Who says He doesn't move in mysterious ways following my last post! However, this particular tooth has been playing up for several days now and guess who doesn't have a dentist? Mind you, neither does 50 % 0f the local population so that's a comfort to me...
I'll resort to painkillers and arrange to see a local bloodsucker whose training we paid for dentist.Mind you, it'll be one who has possibly popped over from Romania or Poland to offer their help to the third world country that is now the UK. A survey of Chinese visitors to the UK showed many of them enjoyed their stay here but were shocked by the behaviour and alcohol use of young people. They were expecting tea, bowler hats, walking canes and Dickensian streetlife....well, the homeless are still with us, plus mugging, drunkeness, violence and imperial attitudes so they weren't far out. Although the imperial power we are fighting for has the stars and stripes for its flag.They don't paint the globe pink but stick Big Mac pins in it instead.
I must away and comb my endangered don't need a licence for a dog but you do need one for your sporran. There must be something in the water.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The thunder has started and the heavens opened. The dog has shot off to her chair because it was a huge crash right above us....ho comes summer.Back to work today although I would rather curl up in front of the box, watch old movies and drink tea.
Well, the storm put the kibosh on that as all internet activity died a swift death and I have managed to connect and have time to do this at long last. For once I couldn't blame my ISP but was it 'an act of God'? Church steeples often get hit and you'd think He is on their side. If they have faith, why do steeples and minarets have lightning conductors attached? Standing barefoot in a large puddle of water at the top of the tower holding an umbrella would show some faith.
Work has been....and will be tomorrow. Studies progress and I currently feel like death warmed up having suffered with a (PC!) 'middle-eastern tummy' all morning and frequent trips to the bog. Hopefully it will pass and gaviscon should help, otherwise I shan't be venturing too far tomorrow.


Friday, June 22, 2007

"Psst! Sister, we gotta quit this joint".

It was a revelation: no clouds of smoke, no cigarette smell and I could taste, smell and see the beer. A good crowd was in and entertainment was provided by Mr Papps tickling his ivories...a singsong around the Old Joanna after we had all been liberally refreshed.
A good night out and the staff have done a wonderful job in redecorating. Bright, fresh and gleaming and ready to welcome non-smokers a week early.
Lots of 'cockney songs' sung; take a pub, add a piano and add alcohol: instant cockney singalong. All we needed was a pearly queen and Max Bygraves. I wonder if they have the equivalent in Germany. Perlige Konige und Koniginnen arond das klavier, das alte kriegliede singt....maybe somewhere in Saxony. But why cockney songs? Mind you, I noticed it was the middle-aged and upwards doing all the singing, not the younger ones.
Sadly, a quiet night in tonight because it's payday -4 and the shekels are in short supply.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


It's been a busy few days around here.
Armed police stopped a vehicle outside the pub and another derelict building set on fire and necessitated Humberside's finest firefighters (for the ladies who were hiding the Swan Vestas!). Where was work and I missed it all. Just missing an ambulance for the full house.*
But today a day off and chores and studying to attend to. All done and I am knackered pleasantly tired. The pub re-opens tonight after being shut for a fresh lick of paint and TLC...guess where I'll be? It is also non-smoking from today which pleases me no end. I'm an ex-smoker (zealot) so I have no sympathy at all for those still addicted to the weed....I'll also not stink like an ashtray when I've spent a couple of hours over there and coughing like a forty a day veteran.
Mind you, the health nazis will be casting their beady eyes around for the next cause. Beer and pies next with specialist council workers enforcing statutory jogging, lettuce on wholemeal and wheatgrass smoothies. I'll be placed in a health corrections centre with other lardies for six months quoting Pattie Hewitt's mantra "I must be a thin citizen functioning to my optimum capacity and think non-PC thoughts". Whilst the local youth are exercising their legitimate right to burgle your house/stab you for dissing dem/borrow and burn your car, you'll be fined for thinking immigrants should learn English, for putting the wrong paper in the recycling box and for dropping dandruff on the street, you litter lout you.
There'll be a 30 % tax on family pets and beer will be £6.00 a pint, although you won't be drinking anyway because local govt. rules and regulations killed off all the pubs where sensible drinking was seen as the root of all evil. You can still buy 24 cans of stella wifebeater for £9.99 even if you stand four feet tall with an unbroken voice and claim your name is Eric. It is then your inalienable right to drink it in the street and chuck the cans at any stray elderly folk foolish enough to have ventured out on dem youths streets after 4 pm.
Isn't this country supposed to be amongst the ten richest in the world? But we can't afford decent policing, criminal justice system, better health care....the list goes on. Blair might be going but there are still enough of his lying useless cronies left behind to cause further damage. Whilst in the wings Cameron and his Eton Trifles rub their greedy hands and pray we don't notice that their softer,caring, greener kiss-the-babies image is but the thinnest of veneers. They remain the mendacious, thieving, hateful blood suckers who worship money (their own),hard work (everyone else) and thrift (sweatshop wages and a dismantled welfare state).
Oops! I slid slowly onto my soapbox and into a rant. But I do believe that there are thousands like me who are just sick and tired of govt. interference, statistics to support their meddling and cover up their inability to run a burger stall let alone the UK.Inc. I am sure if the poiticians buggered off for a month the country would still be here when they returned. I vote they all go off to Iraq to debate face-to-face with the ordinary folks there and explain why. Just why. With luck there won't be many coming back.
I'm orf to help No.1 with his homework (don't get me started on education).

*Not wishful thinking.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Stair rods...

Excuse me as I remove my snorkel....
Flash floods, staid floods and aunt maidenly floods. We've had them all as we approach midsummer with its sounds of leather on willow, drowzy drone of bees and Pimms on the village green. The Daily Mirror even had a photo of a tornado approaching Grimsby with that well known local landmark...the sea. I must be about the only person unconcerned by the weather as I studied today. If the sun had been out I would have faced a choice: indoors studying versus pint of ale on the pub balcony soaking up the rays...hmmm, hard choice that. But the seasonal weather chucked down at us made my mind up...bollocks is all I can say but I stuck to my guns and got several hours of studying done.
But tomorrow will be a full day off and a birthday bash to attend and possibly even a glimpse of sunshine. I can leave the souwester at home and walk the dog, instead of paddling her behind my canoe.

Monday, June 11, 2007

My brain has become a sponge, otherwise how else do I account for all the recent memory lapses. I get to Lincoln today only to realize that the groupwork is not on today but only after struggling to find a parking spot. I forget to book stuff at work, mostly over the past few weeks. Mrs C blames my studies and becoming 'otherworldly' as my mind is on my studies. No.1 blames my age....I am an old bugger! Just so long as I don't get squarepants as well.


Pooch is poorly as evidenced by the smelly presents scattered liberally around the hall carpet this morning. I can't blame her as she did wake me at 2 am but I growled at her and told her to bugger off. She has, since then, thrown up half-digested grass in various places and has only half her usual energy.
Today I returned to the second part of my OU course and I am now over halfway towards the finish...Woot! and Woo! This part is all about research and evidence-based practice so I am girding my loins for the struggle ahead. From an optimistic perspective, I have a lot to learn and it will be useful (said through gritted teeth).I have decided to do a 30 credit OU course next year because I would like the money for a holiday; academia has it's uses but boy is it knackering; I don't see enough of my son, mates,a social life, sunshine; I really would like a holiday...a weeks camping in the Lakes or near Whitby would do me fine (folk festival and real ale nearby as well please).
A cuppa tea has my name on it...


Friday, June 08, 2007

It's been a while....

Assignment done after a lot of sweat and swears. Working hard and two well deserved days off after racing to the rescue of distressed gentlefolk.

Surprisingly, I opted for doing as little as possible apart from a little gardening and clearing up the 'hurricane' damage. The greenhouse is, alas, no more. On the plus side, lots of chilli and sweet pepper plants...hundreds of the blighters. Repotted and lots of TLC, plus threats to the various animals if touched.
Otherwise a meal out and a few beers.
Back to soaking up the sun as it has reappeared and more of my book.

Post not finished 'til Sunday afternoon.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Feline fine.

He doesn't give up that easily!