Thursday, July 31, 2008

Two days worth of painting done but not dusted. A second coat is needed but I might bribe No.1 son to complete this. Pain killers and early nights were required as my body reminded me it's getting on a bit. However, it is the quiz tonight and hopefully a couple of new tasty beers to fuel the braincells.
Here's a wonderful band to entertain ye inne an olde fashyned waye...


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I can't move very well after several hours up on a ladder sanding and painting. I would like to report a sense of satisfaction but I ache all over.

A quiet beer in the Tap whilst acoustic music soothes me may help....or an early night with pain killers.
More of the same tomorrow...second coat needed.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Hooray! Hooray! It's a holi, holiday!
First day of my hols and I have spent this marvellously sunny day doing an essay.
Buggery and bollocks is what I would say but this is in a good cause. For my job interview I have to submit a one thousand word essay all about CBT. So the past week has passed in a blur of work and when off duty reading relevent materials.
The essay now completed and I am free to do what I like apart from the interview, DIY, etc...
Last night was spent helping Do Ron celebrate his eightieth birthday. A good bash and I am sure he thoroughly enjoyed it. I dropped out and I was in bed by 10.30. Sadly, work, on-calls and studying plus ferrying No.1 to his explorer camp yesterday evening left me feeling like a non-duracell pink rabbit...knackered.

So the next two weeks bar the interview day will be spent recharging my batteries. Sanding down wood, painting and plastering may be hard work but I shan't be listening to people's problems and attempting to resolve them. A visit to dear old mater is planned and hopefully a trip to the local hostelries with my bruvver whilst I am in the original Roman capital before the Iceni burnt it down. Have you guessed where it is yet?

A cool beer has my name on it.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Today...I have been mostly rushing around like a wild thing.

But I shan't bore you with the details of work except to say I have another job interview. It will be early next month and I have been reading up on all the relevant necessaries to secure me the job. The incentives are further training, promotion once the further qualification has been achieved and more money. More important is the move to regular hours and no on-calls at night. Fingers crossed.
Time to catch up on a few radio programmes I've missed over the past week and to get my daily fix of backgammon.
I must away and practice my 'smiley happy there's a good nurse face' for those extra kudos as the patients score us on the new Dept. of Health Loveliness charts. Politicians, don't you just love 'em.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Back to work tomorrow...


Thursday, July 17, 2008

Well that's 95% of humanity sorted...

I popped into my local bank to sort out some odds and ends when out of the blue they offered to upgrade my bank account.
Busty* Teller: "Your account Mr C is more suitable for 16 year olds, would you like an upgrade?"
Me: "Bloody hell, I've been asking for three years now so, hell yes I'd like to upgrade".
BT: "Why have you got this account rather than a proper current account which earns interest?"
Me: "Surely you've got my records. The clue is in those words there: unreliable, financial haemmorhage, five year olds with matches and access to the blue touch paper of that there Chinese firework next to the full petrol can..."
Notwithstanding my faecetiousness I now have a shiny new bank account and the catch I hear you cry?
The bank gets the opportunity to make money out of a financially feckless loon like me during this current 'temporary upset' in the world of money, credit and general economic woe. I was even offered a cheque book...I thought they had disappeared now that plastic is king. The other catch is that although I still have the old account, I now have to chase up and rearrange all of my direct debits, etc...Some of these were arranged when No 1 son's musical tastes focused upon the spice girls and I have no idea where the paperwork is.
They also offered me a mortgage. Let's be honest here: I was somewhat hungover, unshaven and wearing scruffy clothes covered in dog hair after the morning walk with the aforesaid beastie. I felt like shit and I am certain I looked exactly how I felt. Are the banks desperate to flog the last drops out of the customer before the credit crunch becomes a full blown recession? Pope, bears, catholic, wood and defecation is the answer to that rhetorical question...
I declined because although my current mortgage is not the best, dealing with financial advisors is very bad for my health and sanity. Also, there is not a hole large enough to bury those fuckers in. How else did I end up in a financial mess in the first place but by listening to one of these fuckers in the first place.
To learn about finances from an objective and knowledgeable viewpoint try here.
I'm off to enjoy a cup of tea and watch Celebrity Masterchef with the shouty men.

*Who says men don't notice things?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Just in from the experience that is Lidl. Overcoming Mrs C's prejudices ("It's horrible, one up from Netto") I bought delightful stuff like Halva, Frikadellen and a 5 litre can of a German wheatbeer. The latter a reasonable beer for under a tenner and currently cooling down to the right temperature in the kitchen.

Not the best weizen beer I've had but certainly tastes of bananas, cloves and is slightly lemony. It'll do as a panacea for the dreadful day I had at work. Monkeys should stick to peanuts, bananas, tyre swings and masturbating whenever curious children with their R.E. teacher hove into view. They should not be allowed to make important decisions which can disrupt someone's life. I'll save the grumbles for the truly anonymous blog I plan to write some day.
Given my shit day, my lack of motivation to tackle it and the dog throwing up some unidentifiable mess I'll stick to my beer and some mindless T.V.

Sunday, July 13, 2008


Just for fun. Trying out a new toy...

There are some recurrent themes here.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Last night I popped into the Tap for a slow pint or two...I missed Seany by umpteen minutes, but a good pint of Cancer, Led Zepp on the juke box and winning the beef in the meat draw. All was well until the girlies commandeered the music. I didn't recognise the various shite modern R&B (Riddem & Bleugh), boy/grrl/fuckwit spoiled the ambience. Maybe I should start the Campaign for Real Ambience in Pubs...
Proper beer, good music on the jukebox, pork scratchings without hairy bits and bar maids with cleavages you can warm a bat in and welcoming smiles.
So I'll pop back later this afternoon to check if it's improved...all in the name of scientific research. He's got two new ales on as well. Those pint sized test tubes are a god send.

* Courtesy of

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

First opportunity to blog for a while.
Work is a tad busy including call outs to minister to a variety of people in the early hours. In fact, I started work at 13.45 on Sunday and finished at 03.00 on Monday, only to go back into work for a further ten plus hours. I am still not sure if it really is Tuesday today because my body believes it is Thursday. However, I am now enjoying my first beer since the Friday Cleethorpes real ale pub crawl with Seany and Rich. We started at the Tap, then the train to the following pub with a pint of 'Olde Trip', formerly Hardy's and Hanson's Brewery, followed by something I have completely forgotten. Both excellent pints.

We then moved onto the world's smallest pub: Signal Box Inn. Sadly they had only the one beer on which was available in the Tap. A well kept pint and I shall certainly call there again. A beautiful sunny day and we made the most of it by calling into a variety of pubs including Willy's which I can always recommend. Back to the No.1 and train to Grimsby and the County Hotel. Again, an excellent pint of Summer Lightning ( ...and attractive barmaids!) but I had by now reached saturation point and I retired to bed early, lightweight that I am. Unfortunately, I also had to be up at 6 am for work which spoiled what was an excellent day out. One I hope to repeat the crawl again in the near future.
I'd like to report exciting adventures but sadly it has been all work and little play. I am thoroughly knackered so...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Fierce Creature.

Faithful hound earned her kennomeat the other day. Knocking at the door and nary a peep from the pooch. Knocking continues and both Mrs.C and I look from respective windows to be greeted by the sight of the 'God Squad'.
"We're the Jehovahs and we've not had our dinner"
Still no reaction from the burglar deterrent.
But members of the family, friends, neighbours, the police are all met by a frantic fusillade of barking, growling and general canine menaces. Before she then tears them limb slathers them with affection and tail wagging.

Why they continue to pester us when we are confirmed heathens and worshippers at the altar of [insert shop of choice]but I guess it's part of their contract with the big J up on his cloud.
I certainly didn't expect...

Fear, surpise, ruthless efficiency and nice red uniforms.
Sadly, it was a motley collection of smartly dressed JW's clutching Godly literature and bibles.
Maybe the pooch was a JW in her previous He does have a sense of humour after all. This site might tell us all there is to know...*


*I'm coming back as an elephant...just in time for extinction.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Looking for suitable images to define today's blog I typed in 'Sunny'...Bare ass nekkid ladies with battery powered instruments. Nothing to do with the sun or acquiring vitamin D at all. It took me ages to get the right images. As for 'Sunshine Ebony'...that certainly wasn't the vicar ministering to her spiritual needs!

I am off to catch more of the rays and read my book whilst sipping a long cool lime juice. Make the most of it, I've seen the weather forecast.