Sunday, December 24, 2006

Canine retail..

I decided to walk the dog and shop for milk at Sainsbury's. The last time I tried the trick of 'shopping with my guide (seeing) dog' I was roundly told off and ejected from the store. My mistake was to put the shades on the dog. Shopping and walking the mutt do not go together. Tying her up outside the store involves a collar and body harness plus enough chains to excite a metalhead. She has got escapologists genes and I've had her racing around the supermarket in a high old state of excitement on a couple of occasions. Good game involving lots of hoomans. Tying her up and the yelping, howling and piteous whining begins as I walk away and it continues until my return. I have had to attach a sign to her before now stating she is well and has not been abandoned. I caught one bloke trying to untie her and his excuse was "I thought she'd been dumped". A swift 'fuck off or I'll bite you' soon sent him packing as I'd only been inside two minutes and I had seen him watching me tie her up. She would go off with any bloke, tart that she is.
My return usually involves her bouncing around whilst I struggle to extract her from the various chains and there is flying hair and drool everywhere. I've given up trying to look smart when I'm covered in dog hair.

p.s. Mince pies and a pale fino sherry by the tree tonight!


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