Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"Bring out your dead!"
Yes, it's the season of coughing, sneezing and wheezing (enough about possible England managers). No.1 up during the night with another hacking cough and Mrs.C up to tend to him. She is full of leurgy herself and I slept through it all thanks to Lemsip. I was on call as well but I slept like a log for a full seven hours apart from one brief interruption when the mutt barked at our feline ghost. Mind you, she barks at everything except Jehovahs Witnesses whom she welcomes like long lost friends!

They need hot toddies.


Monday, November 26, 2007

Up at the crack (05.30) and off over two hours to Nottingham where I was mostly indoors and lectured to. Home again via that delightful two hour journey.
The point of this statement?
It was dark and I saw sod all daylight!!

I can't complain when I compare my lot with miners, well the few that are left after Th@t$&£r destroyed them for cheap foreign coal imports. But I am not making comparisons. Many others have to do the same on a daily basis, commuting and spending daylight hours cooped up in little brightly lit boxes performing meaningless chores. PETA complain about battery chickens, they do bugger all about Mrs Patel or Mr Jones doing the daily slog in their inhumane little boxes. Thank the gods I don't often have to commute that far.
I am now shagged out and in need of sustenance...and a large mug of hot tea.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Today I am mostly Dad le Taxi.

These days I am usually one of the following: Bank / Taxi / Diplomat / Obstacle to son's latest desired object / Bank / Restauranteur / Bank....
Ho hum, parenthood.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Hmmm...There has been a murder just around the corner from us. An 18 year old man stabbed to death last night in a 'street altercation'. Mediaspeak for a drugs deal gone wrong or someone was 'dissed' but, whatever the reason for his death, what a sad pointless end of a young life. Seeing the seemingly endless litany of murders and thuggery in the daily papers is one thing, but to have it on one's doorstep and it all takes on a different perspective. My son is only fourteen and I do worry about his and other youngsters futures in this increasingly violent country. Oddly enough I had this conversation with my mother last night whilst I argued that this government likes things to be seen to be done as opposed to actually being done. Examples such as meeting targets in the NHS or the police by ticking boxes, rather than by actually preventing crime, catching criminals or getting the healthcare to people quickly and appropriately. Undoubtedly, the thug who killed this man will be caught and end up serving a few paltry years in a comfortable jail. How cheap is a life these days. Lawyers will protect his human rights with little thought for the loss of life, the grieving relatives and the increased fear and anger in the local community. Even No.1 son questions where this country is going with the increased violence, trivia dominating the media and fame/wealth worshipped as the must haves and the epitome of success.
It has all gone horribly wrong.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Yet another accident at the main road junction next to us. Several emergency vehicles in attendance so possibly a nasty one. The council widened the junction but you can't 100% mitigate for bad driving.

A busy day at work not helped by my waking at 3.15 am because No.1 is ill. He has another hacking cough which woke us all up. I currently feel like the challenger after five rounds with Tyson...dead on my feet.Mrs C and I have opted for a quiet night in because we are both shattered. So an early exit.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

About last nights result....Oh dear!
Less said, soonest mended.

Back to work and I discovered my name put down for a variety of tasks which everyone else shied away from but, oddly enough, an enjoyable day. I was pleased to be back at work.

Caroline Davis
'Look North'.

For the locals amongst us, the above TV news presenter will be a familiar face. Somewhat of the 'mad as a sack full of badgers' approach with an occasionally unique interviewing style (ref. Rik Mayall). Why have I included her here? Why not? Absolutely gorgeous and if she has a fan club sign me up.

We have decided upon a quiet night in and gave the quiz a miss...saving the pennies for Christmas. Absolutely nothing to do with our shite performance over the past few weeks. Plus, I still have tender parts which need further nurturing. A good mulch on top of plenty of top soil is needed.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Tonight I shall, along with many other men and undoubtedly some staunch women, be shouting support for England. We only need a draw thanks to the Israeli team, but a win would be better.

I am torn between wanting to see England win in a convincing fashion and, to see them lose so that we can get rid of the overpaid shite players, management and have a clearout of the FA tosspots who are increasingly out of touch with football. Sadly, if we did lose then the only result would be the sacrificial lamb that is McClaren being kicked out.

So fingers crossed for a lovely 4 - nil England of course.
Raise a glass to victory.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

It's in the post...

As a nurse I know how important communication is, especially IT and paperwork. If I, god forbid, miss out an important piece of data for those 57 admin staff following my every move I soon know about it. I am given form E156/1a 'Official Bollocking' (also available in 149 other languages) and have the shiny buttons removed from my white coat as I am castigated by my manager who is on secondment from Ratners to improve the NHS.
So this just beggars!

Guess we'll have to make enquiries via Lagos because that's where the records will be.No.1 son will be available in several different versions and my hard earned cash will go into a Nigerian or Albanian bank account. Alistair Darling made the politician's fatal error...he told us not to worry...cue screaming women, overturned vegetable stalls and scenes of rushing water. That is exactly the time to worry.

"You're safe with us".

I have to be honest and admit that if a politician tells me the sun is in the sky I will go and see for myself.
Another enforced day stuck indoors but some progress made...back to work soon. Save your sympathy for the dog as I am the only bugger who walks her. She's had to endure an enforced incarceration with her grumpy owner. However, I am going to nip out in the car to stock up on essentials such as these, these and of course these....and the paracetamol. it also gives me the opportunity to see how I fare pain wise in the motor.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Watching the Skies...(channels 1 and 2)

Isn't it dark at 6 am.
Or so I have been informed. Bed at 11pm and I surfaced at 9 am....and I still feel tired...sleeping rather a lot, healing process I assume.
Trawling the blogosphere and many of my favourite blogs appear to have stuttered to occasional posts or stopped altogether. Ppl have either rediscovered the joys of real life or have been abducted by the aliens Ron L. Hubbard's followers tell us about.
Out of interest I trawled the net for ufo's and alien abductions. There is a hell of a lot of it going on or there are a hell of a lot of ppl with strange ideas. Two perspectives: This or for those who prefer science this. I remain a sceptic but one who is fascinated by the paranormal in all its many guises. Cryptozoology, aliens, timeslips, hauntings, etc... I know that if I am presented with two news stories: discovery for cure for cancer or ghost captured on camera at castle, I will assuredly read the latter first. Romanticism or a little frisson of supernatural pleasure. The unknown does excite interest because it appeals to the child inside of us; the boogieman in the cupboard or the beastie beneath the bed. So don't forget..."The truth is out there"...with a little editing here and there.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Chairman of the Bored...

I am bored!
Despite it being 'Sherlock Holmes' weekend on one of the channels and five hours of Time Team yesterday; plus scouring the newspapers and reading books put aside for a spare moment. I am fed up. I have to keep my legs elevated and rest. Believe it or not I am missing being at work. However, I shall forbear from whinging...if you want whinging watch the news or Jezza Kyle. On a pain scale of 1 (ok) - 10 (Noel Edmonds and Edwina Currie making love live on national telly), I am about 4 with the use of pain killers (incl. chocolate) and distractions.

I enjoyed the Israeli match on the radio last night and cursed the ref in the Scots match. It is kind of strange having to rely upon the radio commentators to provide colour and atmosphere whilst listening to football on the radio. Strangely enjoyable.

This evening I'll try to get listen again working. If that doesn't work it'll be time to revisit the DVD collection. I can't even walk the poor pooch and kicking the ball in the garden for her resulted in extra pain in another ball. Still, I'll soldier on.


Saturday, November 17, 2007



After yet another uncomfortable night and excruciating pain this morning, I followed Mrs.C's advice and attended the hospital GP unit. Just what I needed as I limped through to see the nurse, an ex-colleague of mine.

Nurse: "You're laughing, so it can't be that serious"
Me: "I'm in's serious"
Ex-c: "This'll be good...he's laughing because I'm here"
Nurse: "What's wrong with you"
Me: "I have pain in my left groin"
Ex-c: "Laughter".

The doctor reassured me it was not a hernia but that I had orchitis/epididymitis. Hence my limping like a man with a terrier attached to my left testicle by it's jaws....bow legged and boy does it hurt. It brings tears to a glass eye. the solution: legs elevated, rest and anti-inflammatories; see your GP in four-five days time. I am relieved that it isn't a hernia (my dread of surgery) but oooowwww!!!

I hope there is something good on TV.


Friday, November 16, 2007

No.1 son showed me how to do this.
My favourite song of all time.

Say Bonio!

Today I entered the pooch in the local pet photo's competition. Was it the opportunity to get my pooch noticed by Simon Cowell or to obtain the next advertising campaign for Pedigree Chum? Perhaps the cash prize and shopping vouchers a few weeks before Christmas has something to do with it...
Lining up prior to the shoot she was well behaved, sniffing other dogs bottoms in that universal canine greeting our world leaders would do well to emulate. No problems at all. Then it came time for the shoot...usually when we produce a camera she will pose, admittedly often six inches from the lense. Out of the many shots the photographer took he obtained one decent shot. I was covered in dog hair as her head looked in every direction bar the one necessary and her excitement and frustration at being sat in one spot mounted. So I had better not count on Eastenders looking for a new dog star or dog food adverts to bring in the readies and an early retirement.

Excuse me whilst I referee the latest spat betwixt mother and son.

I did ask whether I could enter a housefly in the unusual pet category but received a cool smile in return. Undoubtedly a small cute toddler with a fluffy kitten will win but I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Quiz night passed in a blur of excellent Batemans XB and wrong answers. Our team is sadly reduced to two members as others have fallen by the wayside or moved to different pubs. Battling against teams of 8 or 9 members is proving difficult. C'est la vie...
Tonight will be a mix of some 'Children in Need' on the TV and reading about Napoleon's invasion of and defeat in Russia. The latter during the tedious bits with soap stars and wannabe's littering the screen. Before you say "Humbug! Del Catto you miserable old git", I popped out and gave money to various stalls today for the cause. I still have a healthy disregard and scepticism for 'stars' and charidee: Smashey & Nicey play it so succinctly each time they appear.
Anyhow, I have home brewed beer left from aeons ago and I shall brush off the cobwebs and drink a couple.

Give generously tonight to whichever charity of your choice (RSPB, MIND, NSPCC, Wychwood Brewery).


Monday, November 12, 2007


I've taken an extra day off today because I just could not face four hours driving to and from the university. Woosey - Yes. Sensible - Yes. Tiredness plus my current distracted state could = accident. I know Americans /Aussies /Canadians /Martians travel hundreds of miles in their daily commute but, so what? I am knackered and a day spent dog walking, better spent. I only wish I had made this decision last night and not when I woke up at 5.30 am. Still, the mutt and I enjoyed our extremely cold stroll as we watched the sun rise. Beautiful colours, especially the pinks and aquamarines as well as birdsong whilst the world appeared to sleep and it felt as though it briefly belonged to us. I am increasingly thinking that with petrol now costing £1.00+ per litre and the mileage I am doing each year, I might be better off looking for a job nearer home. I can't do this for at least another year because of financial and training commitments. Possibly the year after next may be the time for a change. Having moaned about driving, thank the gods I no longer live and commute in London. My usual commute is about thirty miles and is not a bind. The five hundred square miles our team covers is where the grind comes in. But at least it is predominantly green and pleasant as opposed to grey and concrete. The sun has now come out and is beckoning me.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Ouch and double ouch!
I thought the garden looked a little overgrown and this afternoon in my wisdom I reached for the secateurs. Rose bushes and assorted spiky (official gardening term) plants have reduced my hands to a bloody mess. I also tackled a sticking door which needed some sanding down. Door off the hinges....huge crack in lower door jamb is now the new addition and I need a plane. Hands are now very sore and covered liberally in E45 and savlon. Trust me, I'm a nurse....I know what I am doing. DIY is not my strong point.
Strong coffee and lots of it is needed now.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Full of cold...yeuch!
Being the trooper I am I exercised on the bike and walked the mutt. Current position. It's just a shame I am on holiday.

Hot toddies tonight!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I had a change of plans when I realised some bills hadn't yet been paid this month. So after a very long walk with the mutt, bills were paid and a quick visit to the library to borrow some CD's. I then did my alloted stint on the exercise bike. Showered and suitably knackered, I plan to adopt the above position for the rest of today. According to the bike's computer I qualify as fit for the knackers yard. Hopefully that will change with my newly found determination to exercise every day.
To make up for the kebab from last night I am preparing a lentil curry and using some of my home grown chilli. Mrs.C took one look and is opting for "food that does not look like that!" What can she mean? I know previous discussions about my lentil curries have involved analogies along the lines of the dog excreta...No taste some people. It is hard to believe, given my liking for bacon sarnies and sausages, that I was a vegetarian for two years prior to meeting Mrs.C. The clues to my demise back into eating meat were there all along. One morning I woke up after an extensive beer tasting with fellow enthusiasts to find two unopened containers of cold take-away beef ghoulash on the dining table. Much to the amusement of my flatmates all of whom were vegetarians. The eventual night came where I demolished some corned beef sandwiches at a friends house...funnily enough I had also drunk some falling down liquid on that occasion as well. Cue a visit to Brick Lane that weekend for some hot salt beef sandwiches...mmm.

All this writing of food is now making me hungry.

Fireworks night...

I am a creature of habit, mainly as a result of parenthood and having to ensure roof, food, etc...for the family from the 'sweat' of my labours. I know, an old fashioned concept in these days of 'my rights, no responsibilties' currently abroad in society. I digress, because as a creature of habit I usually don't venture beyond my local pub. Last night I ventured further afield to visit some of the pubs in the Bible guide. With hindsight I should really have picked another evening.
It started off well with a pint of Elgood's North Brink Porter which I thoroughly enjoyed. There weren't many in the Yarborough and no one I knew so I moved onto the next pub which will remain nameless to save the innocent. The Tiger was ok as I swigged it back but the domestic going on against an audio backdrop of Fleetwood Mac was somewhat surreal. The beer was good but the pub and the clientele were somewhat careworn, tired and emotional. I moved on only to discover the 'Hope & Anchor' closed but the 'Royal Oak' was open. NO REAL ALE! I had to make do with a pint of keg mild. To further compound this horror the second domestic of the night started in front of me. For fucks sake...I felt I was again at work. An extremely drunk woman decided to snog another customer in front of her husband. All hell broke loose...I finished my pint and headed for the 'Duke of Wellington' wishing I had stayed at home. The Duke had a reasonable pint of Bombardier on and I joined some friends for the quiz. The evening ended with good beer, good company and a kebab...well, it's traditional!
After last nights excitement I am opting for a quiet day out in the countryside with the dog and camera close to hand. Hopefully I won't walk into any further family domestics...


Monday, November 05, 2007


What can I say.
I have a week off work and I am ready to leap into action having worked late last night and being on call. You usually meet a host of interesting people in A&E late at night. Last night the place was like a graveyard as WW3 took place outside and we did our one assessment...called in ten minutes before we finished. Ho hum, c'est la vie. better than the call at 3 a.m.
Hence I feel absolutely shattered today and I have little energy for anything. Walking the mutt is on my list and perhaps some light chores...pressing the remote counts as a light chore?

Friday, November 02, 2007

Dog walked and chores done.
No.1 has gone out with his mates to hang around and look cool in the town centre. So the PC is all mine for the next hour. Stacks of studying to do but I cannot be arsed.

A four hour round trip to Nottingham yesterday for the course and I was all but wiped out when I returned. The journey out is fine but the return journey is in the dark. I have terrible night vision and driving in the dark is fine so long as I stick to a sensible speed on the twisty A roads. Sadly, the twats behind me are over eager to meet their maker and are desperate to pass me. This involves overtaking on the brows of hills, towards oncoming vehicles, etc... I have no problem if they wish to stop and discuss it as my wrench could do with dusting off.What is it about these, predominantly male, morons who are such a hurry to shave 10 minutes off their journey? Perhaps this is one answer although this may also apply. Thankfully, I have four more days at the university over the next six weeks and any trips to Nottingham will be for pleasure after that. The city itself, from what I've seen of it, seems ok. I just don't have the time to look around as it is literally lectures, lunch, workshops and then drive the dark. Maybe a day out next spring with daylight and sunshine in abundance!
Someone at the door so...


I.T. 101.

Oh Happy Day!
Technician has been and he quickly identified the problems. His initial statement "I've never seen that before" must have shown on my face because he reassured me he would sort it.
The first lesson of I.T. 101....check your cables and plugs. He replaced the somewhat frayed cable and fitted a new plug because the combination of the two kept the modem in a permanent state of rebooting. But all now sorted and the connectivity is marvellous.
Now he has been I can go out and get on with important chores and let No.1 loose on the PC. He's champing at the bit.