Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The whole tooth and nothing but...

A much needed day off today and, despite having little money I plan to go out. Fresh air, walking and exercising the dog. I made the mistake last night of buying some 'Bonfire Treacle Toffee'. The crunchy thing I found in the second toffee was a cap from one of my teeth...Bugger! I'm not registered with a dentist because the NHS dentist around here is a mythical beast, found amongst the unicorns and mermaids of yore.Good to see nu labour working and the NHS safe in the hands of this government...tories however do not get off lightly as I certainly don't trust them either. Lord Sutch! We're screaming "Where are you when we need you" because the lunatics really have taken over the asylum. Maybe Lord Sutch is only sleeping alongside King Arthur and in our hour of need he will answer his country's call.
I am in a catch-22 situation in that if I pay to have my teeth attended to, I may then join a dental insurance scheme and thus receive proper ongoing dental care. Now, if I have a few thousand quid lying around I will attend to that immediately. To quote Father Jack "Arse!". I could always commit a heinous crime and during my watery cruise courtesy of Her Maj. I could receive free dental care. As alaw abiding citizen I would have to choose a particularly dreadful crime to ensure a lengthy stay and so receive the full course of treatment. I'll wear a t-shirt questioning govt. policy in Iraq and quoting non-PC language about one of the minority groups in this country....Islamic or Jewish Trainspotters perhaps. That'll ensure a lengthy sentence....I'll only get community service or a tag for GBH so that's no good.
Alternatively, I could just book a two week holiday in Croatia or Poland and receive excellent dental treatment much more cheaply: Club 18 toothurtee.
Happily I am not in any pain with it but it is worrying that as I get older I am losing teeth. I'll be that toothless old git in the corner nursing a pint with a terrier under the table. "'Twernt like this in my day...you entered a mosh pit then and nobody left it wi'out a broken limb. You could drink twelve pints o' snakebite, eat a doner kebab and smoke an eighth and still have change out of fifty quid".
Where's me Serbo-Croat dictionary....


Blogger Unknown said...

Yes - I gather that comparison shopping for dentistry is de rigeur. I wish that I had done it before having to spend the equivalent of a family car to sort out an abscessed tooth (tedious story: 2 bone grafts to the upper jaw, an implant and a crown). I strongly suspect that I have another 2 abscesses developing elsewhere in my mouth and shall definitely price it up before having it done in the UK: my most recent, uncomplicated abscess, cost me more than £600 in the UK.

Regards - Shinga

4:06 pm  

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