Monday, July 30, 2007

Night Fever....

















An odd end to the weekend...No.1 son developed a fever, at one point hitting 103 F. and necessitating cool flannels, cool drinks, paracetamol and a fan. After many hours where his temperature fluctuated throughout the day he finally settled towards midnight. The worst goes through your mind, what with his intolerance for light, headache and his skin burning up as he shivered and complained of the cold. However, all's well that ends well....He is up and about apart from some tiredness.
A good weekend with plenty of good beer and good company.
I bought a copy of the 'Hobgoblin - Tap & Spile' Acoustic Musician of the year 2007. Well worth the small amount it costs and £2.00 goes to charidee folks. I still believe the wrong winners were chosen but the music is good and I look forward to next years bash. Surprisingly, the Monday quiz is on tonight and we shall be playing our part like good citizens...the proceeds goes to the local scouts.
My OU work sits like the proverbial elephant in the corner and I have to start studying again tomorrow. No excuses, I have had a couple of weeks grace but I must now gird my loins for the final hurdles. I am astonished that I have found the discipline to get this far. Laziness, path of least resistance, etc... usually come to my mind when I contemplate real study. Just two months to go and I can relax for a bit. However, a course I applied for six years ago has now come through (!) and it starts in September. So much for a short break from studying and returning to reading my usual rubbish.
I must away to prepare for the battle tonight.
TTFN.

Saturday, July 28, 2007




"Yessir, I can boogie..."









I am temporarily (I hope) deaf this morning and my head hurts.
I popped out to the pub and bumped into Seany and a few others who suggested we see a local heavy rock covers band 'Jackhammer'. A classic rock trio that played covers from the sixties up to the present day....and extremely LOUD. A few beers and a boogie, all in all an excellent night out.
Part 2.
Virgin media as an ISP is without doubt utter shite because yet again service went down and I have only just got access again. Still, I had a well earned siesta this afternoon having given up on the internet.
Mrs.C. enjoyed my night out so much she wants us both to go out tonight. A birthday boy is in town for the weekend down from the land of the 'smoggies' so we'll pop in to say hello and buy him a pint.
Today has been mostly a lazy day with the exception of the market shopping for fruit & veg. I bumped into an ex-patient and we chewed the fat for a while. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me and I realised that it has been nearly seven years since I worked with her. That set me thinking and it is over 24 years since I left my job at Yellow Pages prior to travelling. Nearly a quarter of century! That not only sounds old, it feels old! I left school nearly thirty years ago...bloody hell...No wonder No.1 son calls me the old man. Pension, pipe and slippers next although I shan't be able to retire for another ten years. However, at 46 I still feel like a young man despite the distorting mirror I look at each morning. Mind you, the thought of nursing 17 year olds who are experiencing the delights of drug induced psychosis when I am approaching sixty is really one thought I find hard to contemplate. I still have that image of a cottage in France where one can grow vegetables, drink wine, smoke Gauloises whilst using government edicts as ashtrays and the local youths are respectful to their elders. A pipe dream as ten years from now gawd only knows where I'll be. Maybe even viewing the spire of St. James as it peeps above the flood waters. Never mind, I'm on me hols and I intend to enjoy the day.
TTFN.

Friday, July 27, 2007






"Have a pint my good man and a week orf".











Blimey O'Reilly!
I danced out of work today having finished early - I took two hours of the umpteen I am owed (ask any nurse...when do you finish early? Then duck). I now have nine glorious days off with no ringing phones or miserable people (managers) demanding to know why I haven't walked on water yet. Nine days off to recharge my magic wand and attend to the needs and wants of my family and myself. This may or may not include beer/ sunshine/ humour/ more beer... Mind you, I haven't yet seen the latest HP film so that might go on my list.OU work, mow the swamp, visit mother are on my list of things I have to do whilst my list of urgent jobs has been filed in the appropriate metal receptacle.

I am in two minds whether to go to the local tonight or collapse in front of the box and watch drivel. Mrs.C. has her knitting ready for the guillotine eviction from big bollox tonight, but maybe I can persuade her that real people and the convivial atmosphere of the pub is a better bet. We failed miserably at last night's quiz which I blame on my recent sobriety and radio waves from the local phone mast....Psychosomatic? I've not heard of that phone company...
I'm orf for a well deserved shower and a nice steaming cup of Assam.
TTFN.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

The other side....green fields, the sun shining beatifically down upon the cattle standing contentedly, the bright blue flash of a kingfisher as it swoops along the river where men are fishing. Soft music can be heard upon the breeze from the small picture postcard church where a wedding party can just about be seen. The scent of roses just tangible from the cottage garden and the drone of bees lazily.....
Just kidding...it's damp and 'orrible. I completed my assignment yesterday having discovered that I had most of the preparations done and I just needed to sort through my prep and put a coherent critique together of the research article I had chosen for my assignment. Hard work but I hadn't realised how much of it I had already done.
Free now to apply myself to the final Harry Potter book. We finally received our copy at 01.15 after queueing with the rest of the muggles.So I am orf to read more of this wonderful escapist nonsense...
TTFN.

Friday, July 20, 2007


















It's the weekend....it must be because it is raining HEAVILY.
Incentive enough for me to complete this assignment without the distraction of sunshine, cold beers, girls in skimpy clo "ahem" picnics...I have set aside the two days off to do the bulk of the work and then a couple of days after work to tidy it up a bit...not to send it off as it is like my last one because I have had enough of the bloody thing. I can then dive into the latest Harry Potter and enjoy to my heart's content. Yes, sadly I will be there at midnight to collect my copy as well as daughter's copy. I guess that's me damned in the eyes of many of the bible thumpers (koran thumpers?) but tough shit. As much as I am interested in the history of the bible, I am a very lapsed catholic who has decided to live my life without that imaginary friend. I have a healthy scepticism for most religions and prefer the precepts of the pagans 'Do what you will so long as it harms none'.

Anyhow, I shall be paddling my way out of....












...during this coming weekend. See you on the other side...
TTFN.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


















Bleugh! is all I can say.
It's been a week where I have worked like a puppy with a squeeky toy...worried it to death. I hit the wall with my OU assignment thanks to on-call nights at work and Mrs.C's health scare. She is now somewhat better...time will tell. So I have requested and received an extension for the assignment and I shall tackle it over the next week.
Oddly enough, with the pressure off and the realisation that some things are more important than ambition, I really did hit the wall. Music, reading and shite TV programmes have claimed my non-working hours as some down-time was needed to quell my fevered brain. I guess I had also lost some faith in people after the various incidents of the previous week. More worryingly, I haven't had a drink for a week and tonight I poured myself a favourite beer (Marston's 'Old Empire'). I did not enjoy it!! I even thought longingly of a cup of tea instead. For those who know me this is tantamount to blasphemy and calls for the men in white coats...Oh! That's me then... Maybe it's my age or the monsoon we appear to be experiencing. With the ongoing 'war' between Christianity and Islam hogging the headlines, Thor has made his entrance stage left with rain, thunder and lightning to claim his share of the media attention.Heaven help us if Shiva decides to get in on the act...


















TTFN...."and may your Gods go with you".

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

6 a.m. alarm on my day off. But Mrs C. is poorly so I perform the necessary and release the slavering hound to do her business over the lovely manicured lawn grassy patch that masquerades as the garden. I am also assailed by three starving felines all of whom charge through the opened door and make a beeline for the one bowl. There might be three bowls set out with similar amounts of food contained therein, but god forbid they let any of the others get 'that bowl'.
As an aside, I have watched Tigger poke her head out of the back door, look at the rain and then make her way to the front door to check if it's dry there.
Kettle on and today I listen to the radio news as I do most mornings and prepare the tea....
Radio 4: Death,youths, politics, death,Iraq, death,Iraq, politics,share prices, amusing story about bus shelter and elderly woman,sport, weather.
Radio 2: Iraq, youths, death, politics, Hollywood/TV soaps/footballer/wags, amusing story about nun, pensioner and bus shelter, sport, sport, weather, Dire Straits.
Talksport: Bloody obvious really.
Lincs.FM: Switch channels because it's shite.
Kerrang: (Thanks No.1) AAARRGGHHH! Cats run away and I drop the milk. What the fuck is that and the volume...My eardrums are bleeding and flight/fight mode adopted.
Back to barking Bunty Bagshaw and her quiet middle-class madwoman with cats programme.
But today, after the excitement of the past five days I have decided to have a
'Can't be arsed' day. Do everything at half speed; loll leisurely over the newspaper; thumb my nose at the OU work despite the imminent due date for the assignment....I even had a piece of Kitkat for breakfast...
I'll pay the price tomorrow because that OU work really is imminent....but peeled grapes await me...
TTFN

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

It is said that bad luck comes in threes...I am sure someone somewhere has earned a PhD from studying this phenomenonmennonnon....
Since Friday my daughter has been assaulted, my car assaulted and today...Mrs.C's health has been assaulted (Peanuts!). Her 'bad back' necessitated a trip to the doctor who has prescribed a number of mind the gap altering drugs so as to alleviate two possible leurgies. So I have been playing at 'real nursing' today and ministering to her every need. The first lot of drugs and the bacon sarnie I made for her did the trick. She was out like a light and is currently spark out on the sofa. I suggested at some unearthly hour this morning that a trip to A&E might in order and her reply..."No, I feel like a fraud, we'll go to the surgery instead". Cue several more hours of her doubled up in pain and she was initially seen by an excellent nurse practitioner once we had negotiated the dragons answering the phones.
Receptionist: "Is it urgent?"
Me: "Yes"
R: "How urgent?"
M: "It's urgent...is there something more urgent than urgent? If so, we'll need an undertaker instead."
R: "I need to ascertain if it's really serious and she needs to see the doctor".
M: "Why? Surely the doctor examines her and s/he'll make that clinical decision" (said with just a touch of exasperation).
R: "Eleven o'clock and it's the nurse practitioner".

Despite the lengthy wait (50 minutes) Mrs.C received an excellent service and hopefully this will sort her out. Having worked in the NHS over the past 22 years I am happy to say that GP's are worth every penny, despite this mealy mouthed lying government's attempt to label GP's as greedy, selfish , etc...The government negotiated the pay and conditions that led to this current out of hours agreement and to pay by results. GP's had for years worked more than they were paid for so this deal rewarded them by paying for the work completed. Surprise! Surprise! GP's started to earn decent salaries commensurate with their workloads as well as regaining a social life. So, for this bunch of lying, hypocritical face-in-the-trough thieving bastards to accuse GP's of greed is beyond belief. To qualify as a GP takes approximately ten years. I am more than happy to know that the GP my son, mother, wife all see is an extremely well qualified and trained generalist doctor who will do their best to provide a good service. There are a few crap doctors and everyone can tell a story about a bad doctor. There are a hell of a lot more crap politicians out there who have the temerity to ensure they are well rewarded. Pay, pensions, funding for second homes in London, secretarial services....Mandelson is one example of the type of politician who personifies the arrogant, clueless, meddling twat who tells Joe public to do as I say, not as I do because I know better.
Whoops...soapbox alert!
Finally, David 'Eco-warrior' Cameron wants to slap 7 pence on a pint of beer so as to reduce alcohol problems and drink-fuelled crime committed by youths. Sensible drinking in the conviviality of a pub, especially of a good pint of real ale, on top of the smoking ban will really help the local British pub thrive. Meanwhile, the local underage toerags pouring cheap supermarket superstrength cider down their throats out on the streets will not be effected at all. Sensible policy Dave, keep your hoodie mates sweet but punish hardworking, tax paying adults. You chinless Eton twat! Get a real job and find out what life is really like at ground level.
For balance I should criticise the LibDems.....erm....what do they do?
Rant over, for now, as I have been summoned to minister to the sick once again.
TTFN.

Monday, July 09, 2007

BIFF! BAM! SOCO...

Woe and thrice woe....













Someone used my car as a trampoline and she now has new curves in all the wrong places. I left off posting until today and the steam is no longer coming out of my ears. The Grimsby equivalent of CSI came out and did his business. It certainly ain't like the TV show and this is not Las Vegas. However, it is still drivable and will at some stage take a trip to Dr Honda and receive the automobile equivalent of the purple heart.
Grissom would have caught the perpetrator by now....
TTFN.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

First, a quick word to someone out there.....
To the crack-head twat who tried to mug my daughter yesterday....Does your head hurt?
I hope so after my daughter fought back and kicked your sorry scabby arse you sad sack of shit. The police looked for you as did we, but you crawled away to lick your wounds. As a nurse I should be all liberal and empathise with you. After all, it's not your fault that you were born into one of the richest nations on earth, offered a free education and are cossetted from cradle to grave by a welfare state which many in the third world envy as they struggle with their daily lives. It's not your fault you became addicted to your drug of choice...it's your parents fault, or it's the class system or, you never had the breaks other people had. Maybe it's the fault of the Judeo-Christian basis of western society which still attempts to emulate the legal and philosophical leads offered by the long dead empires of Rome and Greece. It's the fault of the police who don't leave you alone or the social workers who should have done their jobs more thoroughly and unfortunately they did leave you alone. It's the unfair employment market which did not recognize your undoubted talents despite you leaving school with no qualifications.
Is it fuck!
We all have decisions to make and sometimes they are limited by the cards handed to us at birth or by other circumstances. But many of us do not choose to become parasites on the arse of society and choose instead to work at improving our lives. So why don't you....
Normal service resumed when the images of kicking this scabby twats arse no longer crowd my head.

Monday, July 02, 2007






"Are we there yet?"







The trip to Barton-on-Humber photos: cue one very excited pooch and I now have a car full of dog hair. I'll have to try a day out there minus dog and bribe No.1 son to look around the old church. Mind you, I could always tie the dog up outside with a sign stating 'Genuine Olde Worlde Gargoyle - may bite!'














The tide was out with lots of detritus as a result of the recent floods. That mud must be good for growing veg and flowers on, although it may be contaminated with salt. If not, an enterprising young person could take up dredging and flog it to garden centres.'Tidal Mud - Full of nutrients and gives a bumper crop every time'.
However, my thoughts are of studying over the next three weeks but I have the germ of an idea for a day out at Whitby as well as days out around Lincolnshire when I have my week off at the end of July. Bugger going abroad, there is more than enough to see and enjoy around the UK. I have always liked the middle-east but trips there for the history and architecture (I like Islamic architecture) are sadly off the agenda for the forseeable future. My desire to visit New Zealand is also well out of my pocket as well. So I'll stick with Blighty for me hols.















Listening to Genesis, 'Lamb lies down on Broadway'....on vinyl.

TTFN.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

No1 finally made it to Explorers, scouts for over 14's, this evening. He's now a happy bunny because he has visions of camps, outdoor activities and more camps. I now have to pull my finger out and get his bike in working order so he can cycle there and back each Sunday evening. He could use the buses but given the propensity of the local chav/neet population i.e. "He dissed me by not looking at me/ he dissed me by looking at me/ he dissed me by having a future that doesn't include dole in it", I believe he'd be safer dealing with the traffic. But he'll have mates, meaningful activities and fun which he has missed since finishing scouts.
Today has been the usual Sunday with me cooking lunch, studying and avoiding that concert for a dead princess. The music is fine, well some of it, but what a load of bollocks...However, I suspect I may be in the minority here but I didn't much care for her when she was alive and, sadly, there are many traffic victims of which she was one. I feel sadness for her boys who lost their mum but the rest of the tawdry industry that has built up around her...utter tosh. Give your money to a local charity that needs it.
I have rediscovered the Steve Hackett website and I am listening to some excellent music, accompanied by a glass of an equally fine beer 'Champion Double Ale'.
Back to the front line tomorrow and other people's problems. Only four weeks until I have a much needed week off so I can shake off some of the accumulated cynicism acquired in todays modern ever changing NHS. At least Patsy Hewtwat has gone so that has cheered me up.
TTFN.